By Abaasi Walugembe Ziribassente
We all know what the song says—there is no easy way to break somebody’s heart. And perhaps we all agree with it. When the time has come for two lovers to part ways, all that’s left are the acrid taste of the last kiss—and the sting of the last words that ended it all.
Not all break-up lines were created equal—some are genuine, and some hurt more than the others. I have run down some statements that have stuck with all the broken-hearted all these years. I have heard them all myself, and, well at some point, I have used them, too. And remember you used them too.
“It’s not working anymore.”
Some relationships just die a natural death, and we all have to accept that. Some things are just not meant to be. Often, lovers would see this statement coming—as the relationship would slowly be dwindling to a period. There would be fights every day, even thrice, or four times a day.
There would be no resolutions to issues at hand. Misunderstanding for breakfast and a petty fight for dinner—that’s how you know this line would be served on the table anytime soon. Somehow, you would know—if not, then maybe you’ve been in denial for so long. Those who are still trying to make it work against all odds would be hit the hardest.
“There’s someone else.”
I could have put it on number 1 as the most painful line, but to be honest, I would take this statement anytime instead of any other lame excuse. Give me a moment here: Stop the drama. These things happen—there are millions out there who could take your place anytime. And when love fails, there’s a good chance that you’ll be losing the love of your life.
On the other hand, if you’re the one caving in to the options of the world, JUST SAY IT, for crying out loud. If you have found someone else, JUST SAY IT. There’s no use lying for weeks, months, years just to find a way to “soften” the heartbreak—because, believe me, there’s no other way to do it. Be honest, be frank, tell him/her real score, after all, you owe it to that person whom you have loved and have loved you for quite a while.
“I don’t love you anymore.”
These five words, albeit honest and frank, carry with it an indescribable pain. I mean, REALLY, after everything? You just don’t love me anymore? Come on. We all need something more than that, right? A statement that brings forth all kinds of “why’s” would lead you to question yourself, your character, and perhaps your past five mistakes.
And that’s one of the most painful parts of a break-up, the phase where you ask where you’ve gone wrong. There must be something that you could have done right to prevent it from happening. It would take a while for anyone to accept that love can fail just like that.
“I need space.”
WHAT SPACE? Vague break-up reasons hurt because you know that there must be something behind them. That there is something he/she just couldn’t tell you. When your partner buries the truth, no matter how much it sucks, it sends a message: You, of all people, do not deserve some honesty. And that is where it hurts big time. Everyone needs space! And space is also something two people could negotiate on—without having to resort to a break-up. Then why call it quits? What’s the real deal?
“It’s not you, it’s me.”
FAKE. It’s unoriginal. It’s apparently taken from a rom-com. AND IT’S NOT EVEN A SENTENCE (I mean, to what ‘it’ refers? Tell me.) This is the worst way to end a relationship. Can’t you even look into your heart to pinpoint what sent this relationship crumbling down? Can’t we even tell what exactly went wrong? Is it not working anymore? Do you need space? Is there someone else? “It’s not you, it’s me” shatters a years-long relationship like it’s nothing but a summer fling.
Abaasi is a Guest writer at the Investigator and an HIV /AIDS Activist